Well my mind is as good as gone, and my soul is questionable at best, so the least I could do for myself is make my body decent. Insert trumpet noises here, I have recently undertaken Bikram, or hot yoga. Hot yoga is exactly as it sounds. HOT mofo YOGA. It consists of 26 postures in a room that varies between 103 to 105 degrees. Now repeat that all hipster style like it ain’t no thang. Depending on a bunch of contributing factors you could possibly burn between 500-1000 calories!
I’ve wanted to try hot yoga for the longest time but never have. First reason being I’m lazy and the second reason being I’m lazy. Its standard Diane protocol to say I want to do something and never act on it. Well I finally did! My two friends and I decided to undertake this adventure together, which is awesome, because if I was going to have the big one at least my friends would be with me.
This is/was single-handedly the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Physically that is, because when you have a brain like me, mental challenges exist hourly. I started sweating the moment I walked into our death chamber, I mean studio. Gaining a good position is sort of like the lawn chair game at the pool of hotels, you’ve got to get there early. First come first serve.
I only stared death in the eyes a few times which is better than I had originally anticipated. We were told before class that if you ever began to feel overwhelmed, aka close to death, lay down and breathe before you consider running out of the room because your body will go further into shock from the drastic temperature change. Well it’s safe to say I spent most of my time lying down. I picked up right at the end to make it try to look like I hadn’t just flopped around for the past 15 minutes.
One of the great things about yoga is its noncompetitive. It’s strictly there for you. It’s your hour of the day that you can forget about the worries and stress of the world around and just focus on you. That’s the cliff notes version of some of the words that are spoken in the beginning of each class. At first I thought it was kind of a crock, which is the wrong attitude, because if you actually welcome this mindset you’ll have a much better practice.
I don’t know if this is universal thing, seeing as this is the only time I’ve taken hot yoga, but at the end of each class this phenomenal thing happens. The teacher places a cold lavender and lemon, I think, scented washcloth on your forehead. This is optional but I can’t see why anyone would decline this except of course for allergies. I’ve never been dehydrated in the desert suffering from hallucinations before but if I was I would have to compare it to the one time when the mirage was real, the thrill and satisfaction that exists from actually having found water. It’s pretty damn miraculous. That was probably a stretch but I don’t know how else to describe what this little washcloth does for you.
I will be going tonight for the 4th time, so I’m pretty much an expert. That’s sarcasm there folks. This is such a great alternative to working out, which I think I may have mentioned before about how much I despise working out. You use your entire body in ways you never thought possible. You push yourself harder and further than you’ve ever done before. I promise you this. Consider it. If anyone decides to try this out let me know how you liked it and if you could come up with a better analogy to describe that washcloth.
P.S. Since this is a debt blog I thought I should address the money factor because yoga can be expensive. I received a free week, and will be receiving a 2nd week free after purchasing a mat, i.e. $25. I havent decided what I’m going to do after my 2nd week. :/