Valuable Useless Information

Whoever said you can’t have fun and educate yourself at the same time was wrong! If you’re wise you would stop reading here. When trying to decipher this information understand this all happened at some point over the weekend with one or more of these variables involved, sleep deprivation, wine, and drugs. Legal OTC drugs, relax. Also, I’m very sick right now, so this weekend is playing back  like a scene from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

The things I learned this weekend that should be taught in school

  • Humans still cannot fly, we had one try to and it did not work out so well
  • Contrary to popular belief, the Bill of Rights was not written in 1964. Sorry to be the one to burst that bubble for you
  • Chicago has a red light district! Say what? I know!
  • Excedrin has caffeine and by caffeine I mean crack, someone please alert the government
  • Google has virtually no employees
  • After some scientific calculations it has been concluded Rambo is 163 years old
  • You shouldn’t play games with the game owners because they cheat
  • Bidets are intimidating and make for awesome conversations
  • The Rock is still alive

The things I learned about myself this weekend

  • I can read Egyptian hieroglyphics. I expect to be contacted by Indiana Jones any moment now.
  • I should stick to blogging (pronounced blahging)
  • I need to update my world map in my head because apparently it doesn’t look like this anymore

If your head hurts from all of that I tried to warn you. Tomorrow is a new day and maybe my brain will have found its way home.

Someone come take care of me

D

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