My Bad

::sneaking into the back of the class because you’re late. You’re trying not to get noticed until you trip over a desk and launch all your books in the air::

Teacher: And Ms Richards where have you been?

Me: Um, er, I was busy doing, um, stuff.

Teacher: I’m not buying it. What was so important that you felt you could not only, not show up to class the last 6 days, but that you would think no one would notice?

Me: Um, err, I was busy…. yea, I was busy with stuff.

Teacher: Then you have the nerve to waltz in here like nothing happen and cause a scene! Well we hope for the sake of your future here that you’re prepared to make it up to us because it’s not going to easy.

Me: But I was busy, procrastinating and stuff.

Teacher: ::stern look like we’re not f#@%ing amused::

If you haven’t picked up on it, because I’m horrible with analogies, you guys are the teacher. I’m sorry. I’ve been completely, um, er, busy…. with stuff.  It’s been a combination of trying to figure out why I thought getting a second job and starting school again at the same time was a good idea and balancing being a drunk so that I don’t completely lose my outstanding social status. Honestly though I’ve just been busy. Its f$#*ed up y’all. Forgive me? I’ll make it up to you. Probably not though but it always sounds good when you’re trying to make an apology.  I was going to share with you the profile/story I had to create for my English class but I thought better of it, because if my teacher ran it through the plagiarizer 5000 this site would probably come up, and I would have a hell of time trying to explain that I didn’t plagiarize myself.

My slackiness all started because I had to write my introductory speech last Thursday and that took all my creative juices. Who would’ve thought writing about yourself would be hard? Then it was Friday and my co-worker wasn’t here so I had to work, again! That’s twice in one month for anyone keeping count. Then it was Saturday and no one checks this, so I just said f#$% it. Then it was Sunday and I was extremely, borderline dying, hung over. Yesterday was Monday and I thought, “Oh I’ll just write tomorrow because it’s not like anyone misses me”. Then I got yelled at on Facebook for not doing my blog and people “like”d that I was being yelled at so this is for you guys. Assholes. 🙂

Cute Puppy Distraction!

Quick Diane, run while they’re distracted!



And we’re back, kind of

I don’t know what is going on. This will mark the second day in a row where I’ve spent hours typing out my thoughts only to have them deleted in the end. I used to be so confident in what I wrote. I could write about anything and didn’t care.  I don’t know what is going on.  I get half way through and think this is garbage. No one wants to read this shit. Then I get upset and I’m not even sure of what I’m typing anymore. Most of the time how I prepare an entry is to just type. I just write and write until one of two things happens. I look back and see my word count is over 40000 or I feel that I’ve hit all the marks I wanted to.  Then I go back and edit, removing 75% of what I wrote to try and make it somewhat concise. Despite what you may sometimes think, I do try to get my words to flow smoothly, like an A to Z kind of concept. Well recently it’s been like A to 378. That doesn’t even make sense and that’s how my writing has been going! It’s awful. I think I’m putting too much thought behind what I’m trying to say and I’ve never been a good thinker. Well actually I’m plenty good at thinking. I think constantly. Being in my brain is like being in a fun house of mirrors. Your appearance is goofy to begin with but move ever so slightly and you go from looking like Shrek to a bite size version of yourself. It’s twisted and you should count your blessings that you’re not part of this circus that is my brain. So that’s where I’ve been and what I’ve been struggling with. I’m hoping now that I’ve acknowledged my issue that I’ll be able to pick up where I left off, trusting and believing in what I’m writing.

Cute puppy distraction!

Brain farts suck


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