Zombies are Real

I know this because there was a man caught eating another man’s face and because I’ve been one for the past two days now. Well almost, I don’t have the whole eating humans’ thing down yet. That not drinking like it’s my last day on this planet thing didn’t work out so well, again. I did however make it to work on Sunday and this morning. Maybe I was putting too much emphasis on the wrong sylLAble. I should’ve focused more on the going to work part. The next time I’m in this scenario, which will be at the end of this month, I will aim for making it to work alive the next day versus trying to act my age because that has backfired twice now.

In other news I met JENNY FREAKING LAWSON, aka The Bloggess! I’m kind of a big deal now, in my own mind, mostly. She was hilarious, sweet, panicky (her words) and everything I expected her to be. I was shaking, then I was crying, and I don’t even know why. I think when my mind is freaking out it just resorts to crying, which makes it really awkward for me, so stop it mind! Truly though, she was great. I am so inspired by her, because besides being exceptionally hilarious, she is human, and has had human experiences. If she can make it through everything in her life with a smile on her face then so can I.  WWJD, that stands for Jenny not Jesus, because I know what Jenny would do, I’m not so sure what Jesus would do.

This qualifies as automatic VIP status in the Unicorn Success Club

Also does anyone remember what today is? Probably not, because I never disclosed that information but I’ll let Nemo help me, help you, remember something I never told you. It’s Monday none of this going to make sense.



Sunday Funday

You guys I almost was like an adult last night. I went out, had some drinks, went home at a reasonable hour, and got up for work this morning. I was driving singing, and by singing I mean screaming on the top of my lungs, along to my music and thought, “so this is what it must feel like to be a functioning member of society”. Hot damn, a girl could get used to this. The real test is going to be next Sunday. As a gift the bf got me tickets to what is going to be the BEST concert ever! It falls on a Saturday, I requested off, no big deal. Sunday is the problem. I’ve been giving myself pep talks since last week telling myself I HAVE to behave. I feel like its St Patrick’s Day all over again. Ugh. I’m really hoping I surprise myself but the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. There’s exceptions to every rule right? RIGHT?!?

I also have very exciting news that only really matters to me but I’ll share it anyways. One of my favorite all time, in the history of my life, bloggers has been on tour. She’s touring because she just released her book, “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir)”. She finally added Chicago to the last leg of her tour. I was beyond excited but my anticipation quickly turned to gloom because the day she is in Chicago is next Sunday. Fail. -_-   But yesterday I was surfing the WWW when BAM, the best news in the world! Because Chicago loves her so much and her first reading sold out and she added a second date, on Saturday! If I’ve lost any of you, which is safe to assume, that falls on the day I already have off! The blogger I’m referencing is none other than THE BLOGGESS. If you’ve never read her blog please do so I promise you will not regret it. She was one of the main inspirations for starting my blog and I can’t believe I get to meet the face behind the site.


Yes I know I started a sentence with but and because,and I don’t care. Outstanding writing award goes to MEEEEE


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