Crack is Wack

There are 3 people in this world who know about the madness that is my dreams. I’m not talking about future ambition dreams but like actual dreams that get dreamt at night. They are my mom, my bf and one of my gfs. My gf is the only one who listens and kind of somewhat gets it because she herself can recall her dreams. They are almost as cracked out as mine but I take the icing on the cake.

I guess most people don’t recall their dreams. For as long as I can remember I’ve been able to remember mine which would explain why I have such a distorted perception of the world because who wants to come back to reality when you can have dream land all the time.  Generally it’s my mom who gets subjected to listening to my insanity and the conversation usually ends with, “do you do drugs in your room at night?” Most of the time the answer is no, just kidding the answer is always no. D.A.R.E., drugs are really expensive and I’m broke.

Well last night I had one of my more exciting dreams and by exciting I mean I get interactive. I need to be in a sleep study program because the scientist/doctors/aliens would have such a good time watching me. I can’t recall the whole dream, which is rare, because most of the time I can remember the madness from the beginning. Any who, for whatever reason I had won something and I was being given the options for my prizes. They were all pretty shitty to begin with but then they, I don’t know who they was, got to the last one and they were these crabby spiders they released. I explained to my mom, “Not crabby like they had a bad day but crabby like they had hard bodies and ticked when they walked.”  Well the release of these crabby spiders made me react in real life. Cue scene.

Me jumping out of bed, staring at my blanket because there could possibly be crabby spiders under there, My thought process.

“oh f@#&, oh f%($, oh f*@%, please don’t be there, please do be there. Shit it’s so dark how am I suppose to know if they’re there or not. I need to find a light to check but my phones on my bed and if I go on my bed and they might attack. I don’t want to flip on my light because it’s going to be so f#&*ing bright and holy shit its 415am!  I’m not in the mood for crabby spiders right now.”

I finally flip on my light.

“Okay I don’t see anything but just in case they are under my cover I’ll pull it off really fast.”

I pull my cover and discover, gasp, nothing. I turn off my light and hop back into bed pulling my blanket back on top of me.

“I really hope they didn’t cling to the under part of the blanket I didn’t check.”  Last thing I remember.

I mean you can’t make this shit up. This isn’t the first time either. I’ve put on a jacket before, I’ve caught myself in the middle of a conversation with no one, I’ve caught myself with my eyes open. Don’t think to hard about that last one but shit is weird! It usually isn’t until the morning when I have to assess what was real and what wasn’t that I actually recall shit got crazy in the night.

You know who I feel really bad for in this situation? The bf because not only is he going to be subjected to listening to my madness but he’ll also get to experience the interactive dreams first hand when were living together. Yay for you boo! Promise you won’t leave me if I pull the covers off of you in the middle of the night? I’m just ensuring our safety from the crabby spiders.

Anyone else has “interactive” dreams?



7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. JK
    Jun 13, 2012 @ 09:18:59

    LMFAO! face!!!


  2. Your Best Friend Chearee
    Jun 15, 2012 @ 13:18:48

    Yesterday Maria called in the morning, and like i usually do when you ppl call before 11, i ignored the call… which then proceeded to me dreaming about her and david getting engaged, her flying home to tell everyone and she kept asking the girls to be her bridesmaid but hadnt yet asked me- so i proceeded to say “bitch, you didnt ask me, it better be because your waiting to ask me to be your maid of honor” lol- yeah too many weddings. and the most interactive is me crying and laughing out loud! you def are the weird one. sorry JK


  3. friedgreenolives
    Jun 18, 2012 @ 11:12:56

    I used to dream like this pretty much nightly, not sure when or why they stopped but as I got older they did; until recently. My Doc put me on a medication that one side effect is lucid dreams. THAT is putting it mildly, we are talking HD to the max dreams where I visit the same “places” and “friends” on a regular basis. I can’t recall ever being at this particular weirdly inspired hotel or ever meeting these nutjobs in real life but… I sure do enjoy the company in these crazy mini movies I laughingly call dreams. My boyfriend says I am shot… thinks the whole idea is over the top. I don’t care, in fact I think I need to take a nap now, go visit my friends:)


    • I'm Pretty Even...
      Jun 19, 2012 @ 08:14:40

      I love this! Haha! Its so great to hear Im not alone. What is it saying that most of the time its my real friends in dream land? That they’re weird enough to be in real life and lala land? I thought so 😉


  4. Kaffy
    Jun 18, 2012 @ 13:03:40

    Yep, Andrew tells me that I’m crazy because I have these nutzo dreams all the time. He gets to hear all about them! Lucky duck!


    • I'm Pretty Even...
      Jun 19, 2012 @ 08:17:04

      Well Andrew is just jealous. We need to start holding dream night where instead of wine we bring our dreams. I also would like some wine so maybe wine dream night? Chances are it would just turn into wine night. Ugh fail and we havent even started.


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