Interview 101

Before I continue, I should probably mention, the following advice is for your average entry-level, admin, maybe some sales position, jobs. If you want pointers on how to land the mother ship, you’ve got to find Hans Solo or some shit, because I don’t have that kind of experience, yet.

Overall I would say I’m pretty confident when it comes to interviewing. I’ve had a lot of years of practice. You know, I still get the occasional butterflies, and the sometimes sweaty palms, but for the most part I don’t clam up. I remind myself to be myself. My number one rule is you can’t go into an interview pretending to be someone you’re not. You’re either going to fail miserably or they’ll see right through you. I’m not saying you can’t boast or lie a little, to give yourself the edge, but make sure it’s still in the realm of possibility. If they ask you about your computer skills, don’t say you could hardwire a broken pc blindfolded, unless of course you can.  You could say you consider yourself an expert with most programs, but like all things, you could stand to learn some more. You never want to appear like a know it-all, unless of course they’re looking for a know-it-all.  Appear confident but not over-confident.  All of these things will ensure you’re not accidentally hired for a position you are completely under qualified for. While I’m in the advice giving mood, why don’t I give you another piece of advice, because I’m all about helping. Don’t cry.

These are the kind of moments that I swear only happen to me. Yesterday I went on an interview. Yes, I am working on my monthly goals. It was the perfect part-time job that I’ve been looking for . I was completely qualified, if not over qualified. I had my pretty face on, hair did, and a sharp outfit. I was going to kill it. Then I was presented with this question, “In your professional or personal life give me an instance where you had a challenge you had to overcome within the last year.” If you’ve ever been on an interview this question is pretty routine. I thought a good topic would be my debt. EHH! WRONG! I started crying! Story of my damn life. I couldn’t believe it as it was happening and I couldn’t stop it either. It went something like this. Feel free to laugh because this is a joke, a very real joke.

J:  In your professional or personal life give me an instance where you had a challenge you had to overcome within the last year.

Me (thinking for a second): Well just like so many of us, I (tears starting to form) am in debt and (one drop falls, she’s looking at me like is this really happening) pretty severely.

By now it’s affecting my speaking because I’m trying to regain control of the f#*$ing situation and it’s not working.

J: Do you need a tissue?

Me: No, I’ll be fine. I’m sorry I was not expecting this. Well I recently started (tears continuing to form and fall) a blog so I could….

J: There’s some Kleenex over here, I’ll just grab some. I’m sorry I didn’t mean it to be that personal.

Me: (she’s apologizing to me, for me being a hot mess) So this can be classified under what not to do in an interview 101. I’m really sorry, I wouldn’t have chosen this subject if I had known this was going to happen.

The rest of the interview went perfectly well without anymore waterworks. I’m definitely chalking this one up as a loss. I mean I haven’t completely given up hope and bless her soul if she actually calls me back. My support team is trying to convince me it wasn’t that bad, it shows I have passion. Or it shows I’m a complete nut job. I mean, I write about my debt and share my personal story daily without getting all misty eyed, what the hell happened?! I don’t know, but I can assure you one thing, I will never bring up my debt in an interview again. Yikes!

If Brittany can do it so can I!

And you thought these things only happened in the movies.

D

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Smelling the Roses

We’ve all heard the saying, “stop and smell the roses.” The meaning being, slow down and take the time to enjoy your surroundings. Generally this is applied to hard workers and since we’ve already established I’m not a hard worker, one might think this couldn’t apply to me. Correction, I’m a hard worker, just not THAT, hard of a worker. Make sense? Probably not, but we’re going to carrying on anyways. Seeing as I’m not an expert at working hard yet, I’m going to apply this quote to debt. Yay! If you spend your life living pay check to pay check, stressing about your bills, worrying about money, you’re going to miss life. Unfortunately, what I’m about to say is going to make me a hypocrite, but I need to say it.

Next time you find yourself about to use your credit card or buy something you cannot afford, STOP, and SMELL THE ROSES. In this instance it’s not about embracing the life around you but more so directed to what you are about to do. Really concentrate and take a moment to reflect on your actions. How is this going to affect your debt? How is this going to make you feel? Is this a necessity? Will this fix any of your current problems? How is this going to help you in the long run? If even one of your answers is no or has a negative response you should NOT being make that purchase. You do yourself no favors by lying or trying to justify the purchase either.

After you’ve walked away, try to focus on the positives. How much closer are you to paying off your debt now? How much more can apply to the bottom line? How are you feeling? I admit the feeling part is difficult, because when you’ve already tricked yourself into thinking you needed that particular item, walking away can be hard, but you’re a stronger person for doing so.

As a reward to ourselves for taking a step towards changing our lives were going to start a savings-on-a-whim box. All you need is some type of box, or even piggy bank, just make sure it something that you can glue, staple, tape, or weld shut. You can have zero access to the contents inside. Also, make sure it’s not clear.  When you arrive back home, put five or ten percent of what you were just about to spend in your savings-on-a-whim box.  It might sound silly, but seriously do this, money adds up over time. Especially when left untouched.  For anyone who is thinking, “Well, if I didn’t have the money to buy what I wanted, why would I have the money to put in a stupid box?” Here are some fast figures for you, 5% of $20 is a $1, and 10% of $50 is $5. You can see what I mean.  These figures aren’t going to cause you to go into further debt, but they will be a nice treat  for you when you get to open your box. Want to know when you get to open your box? Never! Just kidding, when you’re debt free! As long as you are dedicated and don’t cheat yourself you should have a pretty penny waiting for you at the finish line and all because you stopped to smell the roses.

Beautiful roses supplied by the BF ❤

 

One day at a time

D

20something Year Old

This internet machine is really fan-f*%#ing-tastic. Autocorrect is trying to tell me that’s not a word, the hell it’s not. I love the internet, and not just for the fact that it helps me get through the work week, every week. The explorer in me loves the journeys I get to take without leaving my office chair. Every time I find a new blog I get a little glimpse into someone’s life. That little piece of them, they are so courageous to share.  One of the bloggers I follow is The Trouble with Association, Shayla. You can read her blog here. A couple of days back I read one her posts, and it moved me, as well as inspired me. Well, she has done it again. She’s a beautiful writer and puts so much meaning and thought into her words it puts me to shame. She wrote THIS and what kind of follower would I be if I didn’t share my 20something outlook.

I, too, am guilty of hating on my 20’s. I’m not going to put this half as well as Shayla or the original creator but you’re going to get the picture. I personally had a really hard time turning 25 and that’s why I’m still 24. It meant I was growing up. It meant the time for my adolescent foolishness was over but it’s not. This is the perfect time to make mistakes and learn from them. This is when we grow and discover ourselves. We learn who we are and what we want, or don’t want. I can’t say for certain this will be the time I want back most in my life, because hell, I’ve only seen 25 years of it. I’ll be damned though, if I going to lie down, and let time run its course. Live your life, find who you are, and don’t settle for anything less than extraordinary.  There is so much this world has to offer, that this isn’t the time to rush into adulthood. We’ve got a good portion of the reminder of our lives for that. This is our time.

My, not so rhyming, poem to being 20something

I’m in debt, not jail.

I may have thought you had gotten the best of me but you haven’t.

I’m in no rush to grow up but I’m also not afraid of what life has to offer.

I will make mistakes from time to time and probably the same mistake more than once.

 I might’ve spent too much money in the past but I now know money cannot buy you happiness.

 With a lot of perseverance, and some much needed patience, I will get to where I want to be.

 I have hurt the people I love, and I’ve been hurt as well, but it has made me stronger.

I can’t pretend to know what the future holds, but I will try my hardest to prepared.

I’ve got the character needed to get back up when I’ve been knocked down.

I will continue to strive to be the person I’ve always wanted to be.

I will not always do the right thing but I’m learning.

I promise to give myself wholeheartedly to this life.

I’m a 20something year old and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Please take the time to read Shayla’s post as well as the original inspiration because both are great.

25 is the new 25

D

Reality Check

I had a completely different agenda for today’s post but then this happened, click here. This is a very real description of one woman’s personal experience with discovering a little something abnormal. I could copy, word for word, her recount because its beautifully written and describes, almost to a t, my own experience, but that is called plagiarism. So I will tell you my own experience.

I’ll start with the good news , my “lump” has been diagnosed as benign, but that’s the end of the story. Now, I’ll start at the beginning.

In October, just before my 25th birthday, I was feeling my lady bits because they were damn sore when I noticed something different. I told my boyfriend first, looking more for a confirmation of “Oh yea, I feel that all the time, it’s been there” vs. it being something that just developed. I didn’t receive the response I wanted. I told my mom a couple of days later when it hadn’t “disappeared”, as I had wished. I approached the subject very nonchalantly, “Yo ma, I was feeling my boobs the other day and I noticed this, what do you think it is?” She, being a mother, naturally was concerned. I, on the other hand, choose to ignore it. Out of sight, out of mind. Thank goodness for a mother’s persistence because she would not let the damn subject go.

“Have a made a doctor’s appointment yet?”

I made up every excuse under the sun.

“No, I’ll do it when we get back from the cruise.”

“No, I don’t have the money for the doctor’s bill.”

“No, it’s nothing, now will you stop asking.”

The answer was always no. I can say now, it was because I was scared. My boyfriend finally started on the pestering train, so I finally made the appointment, 3 months after my first detection.

I approached my doctor the same way as I approached my mom. I went in for a routine check-up, making sure this well oiled machine was still functioning normally when I pounced.

“Yea doc, I was feeling around the old dirty pillows and I noticed this.”

Well, the initial result was she ended up finding 3 more “abnormalities.” Awesome. I was then explained that I would need to go for an ultrasound because young women’s breasts are denser and harder to read through a normal mammogram.  That’s when worst case scenario Diane began doing what she does so well. I cried, I got mad, I become nostalgic, and I was a mess. How could I have been so stupid and childish to have waited this long? Maybe, if I had gone sooner she wouldn’t have found so much cancer, because at this point I had convinced myself it was cancer.

Ultrasound day approached, I brought mommy for moral support. I’ve read a few authors who sometimes describe a situation as having the air being sucked out of the room, well let me tell you, I now know what that feeling is. The tech squirted gel on my lady part, began looking, and said, “let me go get the radiologist.” All I can remember thinking is “Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry”,which is really hard for me. She came back with the radiologist and began speaking jibberish, or what sounded like it.

“Yea, good, okay add some color. Rotate dizzledattle. Yea that’s good. Okay now ziggle zaggle hindersation to minderstation. Great.”

I would not be exaggerating if I said I stopped breathing the entire time. I turned to the tech after the exam and said “I read on the web”, which I’m sure they looove to hear, “that I could ask for a preliminary report.” She acknowledged this and asked the radiologist to provide me one. I walked back out to the waiting room of doom, told my mommy everything and waited. Then the magically piece of paper that would change my life, one way or the other, was provided.

‘No significant findings discovered.’

I still didn’t believe what I was reading because I’m a pessimist. I received my official diagnoses in the mail a couple of weeks later. The word that every woman wishes to see was printed so clear that even my pessimistic mind could comprehend, benign.

I chose to share this storybecause, just like the other blogger writes, it is so important to take care of ourselves. Please check yourselves and if you notice something, don’t write it off as a fluke, or something that it’s not serious. There is no excuse when it comes to your health, take the steps to make sure you are well. This was the story of a childish girl who was fortunate. I was sparred, which is a blessing. As the other blogger wrote so perfectly, do as I say, not as I do.

Cheers to boobs

D

PS:  I mean no offense to anyone who has this disease or knows someone who has this disease. Humor is my escapism. Please know I completely hold you and others in the highest regard. For every woman out there fighting this battle, you have unbelievable strength, and courage. May we one day soon live in a world without this devastating disease.

Grammar

You know what irks me, when people write about other blogs grammar irking them.  You have no idea. I want to reach through my computer and love tap them. Who are you to call out someone else on their grammar? Unless you’re a master linguist or teaching a writing class, it’s none of your damn business how someone else chooses to write. Maybe they’re not as educated as you, that doesn’t make their blog any less important.  So, you know what, YOU IRK ME! You people out there wasting whole posts on complaining about other bloggers writing. Don’t read the blog then, because the post probably wasn’t meant to reach you. It’s meant to reach the people who can look past the poor grammar and find a deeper message. It’s meant to help the blogger share what’s on his/her mind that day. IT IS NOT meant to be critiqued like this is high school English all over again. Last time I checked, which was this morning, this is a free country. People are free to choose how they write, when they write and where they write. In the future when find yourself “irked” with someone’s writing remember it’s not  meant for you to grade, approve, or judge. It’s there for the owner. It’s there to maybe help make someones day a little bit better, or maybe they’re sharing their beliefs, or possibly they’re just looking for a place to talk. It’s their creative outlet, not yours.  Next time you find yourself so inclined to judge, just move on past because I’m sure that blogger wouldn’t want you reading their post any ways.

Sorry, I had to get that all off my chest. No one has called me out on my poor grammar, so don’t think this has anything to do regarding me.  This is for anyone else out there who may never have excelled at writing. Write freely and openly. Don’t let the idea of people critiquing stop you from delivering your message.

 

Thank you for letting me vent, run on sentences and all 🙂

 

D

When You Wish Upon A Star

Objective, aim, ambition, purpose, target, aspiration, all these words can be used to describe one word, goal. If you’re still not convinced you have a problem or that you’re debt isn’t that serious by now then you’re a lost cause. No, not really, but you do need a reality check.  You have to want something greater from life than just what is presented in front of you.  For those of you who don’t know me personally, I love Hawaii, particularly Maui. I’ve been privileged enough to have traveled there several times and it holds a piece of my heart. This is the only place I’ve been to though, outside of the standard American family vacations, Disneyland, Wisconsin Dells, Washington DC, etc.  So who’s to say I may not love somewhere else? I am a HUGE believer in trying everything once. After that you’re considered an expert in my book and can officially state you hate it but until then you have no just reasoning to say you dislike anything. Just my philosophy, ya don’t have to agree.  So here I am filing up the WWW with my nonsense, gibberish, and ramblings. Hoping, wishing, this will all amount to something because my dream, my goal is to explore the world. I want to know I have tried everything before I settle into “forever”. This isn’t for everyone, I understand that. No two people are alike but we are alike in that we all have something that drives us. Find that calling, and remember there’s something much greater than having the latest trends or coolest gadgets. Think of something you’ve always wanted to do but never could imagine doing and reach for it. This is the one chance at life we got why not make it great?

"I'll bet a lot of you folks don't believe that, about a wish comin' true, do ya? Well, I didn't, either. Of course, I'm just a cricket singing my way from hearth to hearth, but let me tell you what made me change my mind."

Next stop Africa

D

P.S. Do not take this as me telling you to get all crazy planning trips you can’t afford and going all willy-nilly tapping into your savings. This is me telling you to stop spending so you can plan for something more than the tragedy of being seen in the same outfit twice.

Reflection

A large part of this process I’m finding is reflection. I get the opportunity to look back on years of spending flippantly. Years I wouldn’t trade for the world because they are some of the best memories I have to date but I get to reflect on how childish I was. I never imagined myself growing up. I always figured I was going to have this mentality of the only thing of importance is the here and now. Which I still do believe in, but I’m beginning to understand that you can’t let the “here and nows” affect the future. I’m in a stalemate, I want to start my life but I can’t because I was so naive. Naive into thinking my actions then wouldn’t affect my life now. Naive because I always saw myself as being in control, I’d be able to pay my bills off when I wanted to.  If I could go back to the me then Id slap some sense into me. Now don’t look at this as regret because I live my life with no regrets. Well there are a few but that’s life. Every mistake is an opportunity learned. Every “I wish I hadn’t done that” moment has made us who we are today. So no, I don’t regret my past, but I do wish I wouldn’t have been so stubborn. I wish the old me wasn’t so selfish that for a moment I would’ve thought about what the future me would have liked. Try to use this mind-set the next time you want to make a purchase, or go on a trip you can’t afford. What is the future you going to want? I can tell you for damn sure I’d  much rather have a place of my own now than my cute matching outfits then.

Yes, I am feeling better 🙂

D

Cheaters Never Win

I am currently reading Games of Thrones. I, like so many others, actually saw the first season on HBO before I decided to read the book. Now I am having such a difficult time getting through this book! It would be one thing if HBO took their own interpretation of this story and changed bits and pieces but they didn’t, IT IS SPOT ON! Down to the way Jon grabs his hilt, I can recall these exact scenes in my head. I find myself squirming like a little kid in time out trying to get through the pages, it’s awful. So far I have found only one plus of reading this book and that is I have fallen back in love with my favorite character, Tyrion Lannister.  The author did such an incredible job developing this character, he is a witty pompous ass and it’s glorious. I find myself highlighting most everything that comes out of his mouth because it’s brilliant. Here is just one example of his wisdom,

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” Martin, George R.R. (2011-03-22). George R. R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones (Kindle Locations 1126-1127). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

I mean, COME ON, that’s awesome! If he was real, he’d have my vote for presidency. To bring this thing full circle, I want so badly to just completely skip this entire book and dive into book number two but I can’t because thats cheating and cheaters never win!  Whether it’s something as silly as drudging through a book you already know the outcome of or something a little more serious. For instance, skipping payments to afford something else, making only the minimum payment, spending more money than you have the payment for. Cheating does not work and most cheaters get caught, whether it’s by a teacher,  a spouse, or a camera crew. The only person, who can catch you in this situation, is you. You can lie to yourself day and night but there will be no benefit.  You’re only hurting yourself and your credit. Sad but true, so why not be a friend to yourself and stop.  I tried to evoke my inner Tyrion for that last bit and feel like I failed but you see the point. I’m going to read this book in its entirety and like every minute of it. You should also start being a little more honest with yourself because this problem wont resolve itself by skipping to the next book.

Happy Monday

D

Side note: My head feels like I took part in some headbanger rock concert last night so please excuse me if this post makes even less sense than normal.

Needs vs Wants vs Everything Else

Dictionary.com Definition

Need
Verb: Require (something) because it is essential or very important

Want
Verb: Have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for

I started with the definitions so that it was very evident, both to you and me, that these are two very distinct words. If it wasn’t obvious enough below is a list of things that qualify for each:

Needs

Water
Food
A place to live
Air
Clothing (not an abundance)

 Wants

Puppy
Expensive Shoes
Voluptuous Hair
Designer Clothing
Latest and greatest make up
Mansion
Jet Skis

 

You see the differences right? Please tell me you do. Needs are necessities. Objects that without, your body would have a difficult time functioning, things that keep you LIVING.  Wants are the objects that without you may have a hard time looking in the mirror, or you might not feel as confident as before. These “wants” have been warped into our minds that make us feel they’re a necessity.  A seed that was planted in our heads that we need material items to prolong our happiness. That happiness cannot just develop from within you. You need to have the latest trends, the best hair products, or the coolest toys to obtain happiness.  Watch 15 minutes of  TV and you’ll see 10 minutes of advertisements telling you that the current you isn’t good enough, you need THIS SHINY NEW PRODUCT to enhance your quality of life.

 This is the part where we need to break the mold. We need dig within ourselves and find out what makes us who we are. Once this is found, we won’t want  to spend the money on all those materialistic items.  Well be satisfied knowing the traits we possess are one of a kind and there can never be another one of us.  If  we can make peace with ourselves that we are who we are and no amount of makeup, clothing, or designer products is going to change that, we’ll be headed in the right direction. I’m still searching for this. I’ve reinforced bad behavior from the very beginning. I covered up my low self-esteem and body image issues with the purchasing of clothes. These tangible items were supposed to fix years of negative thinking, what a joke. Find yourself and you will find happiness because I know for a fact it does not lie in the racks of clothes at Forever 21 or the matching pumps from Bakers. It’s found within you and I promise it’s beautiful even if you may think otherwise. Help yourself rediscover what your needs are and release the hopeless illusion of false needs. Wants exist solely to make you think you need them. They are part of a grand scheme, this image of perfection, but you will lose yourself trying reach this ideology. Become content with being YOU even if it may be viewed as imperfect.  I’m a work in progress but I hope to find the perfectly imperfect me soon, the one who knows needs are so much greater than wants.

 
 Thinking I might have had too much coffee this morning
 
D

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