Pay Day

In my future life I predict this would be a joyous day but in my present life it’s more of a game, how fast can I drain my funds from my checking account. My personal record is 9 minutes. Sometimes I forget passwords and that slows my time down but I can’t be perfect all the time. I’m thinking of creating a record board that will hold the quickest times for fund draining, I’ve sort of got mine down to an art form.  I work for a company where I get paid on the 15th and the final day of the month.  My dad made me aware that most company’s pay their employees every two weeks resulting in 26 paychecks a year. Whereas, I receive 24 paychecks! What the shit?!? I immediately screamed “Who do I call to sue? That’s horseshit!” He shook his head, as he often does when I wow him with my intelligence, and he said “Will you relax, you get paid more money per paycheck then the people who get paid every two weeks.”  I nodded and said “ooohhh well duh, that makes sense.”  Kind of, but I’m just going to go along with it because there weren’t too many Google results for paycheck outrage. So whether you’re barely scraping by with a measly 24 checks a year or living the good life with 26, remember to budget wisely and always put money into savings!  

24 is the new 26

D

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Cheaters Never Win

I am currently reading Games of Thrones. I, like so many others, actually saw the first season on HBO before I decided to read the book. Now I am having such a difficult time getting through this book! It would be one thing if HBO took their own interpretation of this story and changed bits and pieces but they didn’t, IT IS SPOT ON! Down to the way Jon grabs his hilt, I can recall these exact scenes in my head. I find myself squirming like a little kid in time out trying to get through the pages, it’s awful. So far I have found only one plus of reading this book and that is I have fallen back in love with my favorite character, Tyrion Lannister.  The author did such an incredible job developing this character, he is a witty pompous ass and it’s glorious. I find myself highlighting most everything that comes out of his mouth because it’s brilliant. Here is just one example of his wisdom,

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” Martin, George R.R. (2011-03-22). George R. R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones (Kindle Locations 1126-1127). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

I mean, COME ON, that’s awesome! If he was real, he’d have my vote for presidency. To bring this thing full circle, I want so badly to just completely skip this entire book and dive into book number two but I can’t because thats cheating and cheaters never win!  Whether it’s something as silly as drudging through a book you already know the outcome of or something a little more serious. For instance, skipping payments to afford something else, making only the minimum payment, spending more money than you have the payment for. Cheating does not work and most cheaters get caught, whether it’s by a teacher,  a spouse, or a camera crew. The only person, who can catch you in this situation, is you. You can lie to yourself day and night but there will be no benefit.  You’re only hurting yourself and your credit. Sad but true, so why not be a friend to yourself and stop.  I tried to evoke my inner Tyrion for that last bit and feel like I failed but you see the point. I’m going to read this book in its entirety and like every minute of it. You should also start being a little more honest with yourself because this problem wont resolve itself by skipping to the next book.

Happy Monday

D

Side note: My head feels like I took part in some headbanger rock concert last night so please excuse me if this post makes even less sense than normal.

I Survived

I MADE IT! I bet you all thought I didn’t survive my night cause this post is rather late, didn’t you?  Despite my own apprehension, I didn’t vomit or pass out. Yay for small victories. It was a great night, full of laughs and special moments. My total spending for my Friday night was $21! I haven’t spent $21 on a Friday night in forever! If were being honest, probably not since high school but even than I probably spent more. It is truly a great feeling knowing that  you can have a special night out without putting yourself further into debt. This must be how normal people live, eh, they might be on to something here. Now its Saturday and most of you crazy kids are preparing for a debt-fabulous night out.  For those of you in a similar situations to me, remember you are in debt and don’t harm yourself by giving into temptations. Be strong and try to remind yourself that you are working to create a better future. I will be preparing, mentally and physically, to attack my room that has recently transformed  into a jungle. Anyone have machete handy? I wish I was joking but I saw an elephant in there earlier, photo proof below. 🙂

Keepin’ it Cheap

D

Just got paid, Friday night

Actually, I didn’t just get paid but it is still Friday! Woo! Woo! Tonight is one of my girlfriend’s birthday party and we’re doing what any normal 25-year-old would do for their birthday, LASER TAG!! I actually can’t wait, it’s so different from our usual just get wasted off our ass routine. Slight problem, I don’t get to go shopping. :: sad face:: This would be classified as one of those times when the urge arises that I need to go out and buy the latest and greatest. I’ve already lost half a nights sleep going over all my clothes in my head to see which would be up to par for this event. The answer predictably was none but I’ve got to change that. So chances are, I will be trying on clothes from the moment I get home till the moment I’m walking out the door, and I still won’t be happy with my decision. I just hope there are no pictures being taken because I might faint. Wish me the best of luck or half of your Xanax because I’m going to need it.  Today’s title was taken directly from the lyrics of NSYNC’s “Just Got Paid’, SOPA stay away from me. You can find the song below if you want to you relive some childhood memories.  I’m not ashamed to say this song pops into my head almost every Friday and it’s basically game over should it happen to be a Friday that I’ve actually gotten paid.

Cheers

D

P.S. I would love some suggestions for a clever laser tag name. I don’t perform well under pressure and I usually end up with Diane101 or if I’m feeling crazy DiDi101, first world problem. Help!

NSYNC-just got paid (lyrics) – YouTube.

A moment in the life….

7:30        Log into computer, damn what’s my password again?

7:31        hmmm coffee

7:35        Log into Pandora, wtf  are you playing Pandora?!?

7:40        Read emails

                Answer emails

                Quick SOMEONE look I’m working!! I definitely deserve a
             raise

7:50        COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE

7:52        Scatter random papers on my desk to make it look like I’m
            extra busy today

            Make huffing sound like I’m soooo annoyed with having to
           work

8:00       Whelp, that was fun, now what? Time to surf the WWW

            Yahoo, catch up on what happened while I was sleeping, read
            a bazillion articles

            TMZ, look god I’m not famous I’d be on this shit hourly

            Bathroom Break

            Facebook, creep my peeps, holler! Do I have a clever status
            for today? Nope

            What up Pinterest! PIN EVERYTHING

            I should probably start working on my blog post,
            hmmmm what should we talk about today

            It has got to be at least 9:30 by now……..8:19!!!!

8:20        afkjd;ahiodvhyu; qwjbngtrj ::sound your keyboard makes
            when you hands come crashing down::

8:21        I’m never going to make it to lunch, wow im hungry

 I wish I could say this was written for giggles but it wasnt, this actually happens, everyday.  I’m sorry for there being nothing of value here or anything even remotely related to the topic at hand. Just in case you were thinking it, this has nothing to do with the fact that my mind was shooting blanks about a topic for today.  Also I wanted you to catch a glimpse inside my mind on the off-chance you thought I might be an evil genius. TA DAH!

Update: I just found this and its unbelievably perfect

Stay Classy?

D

Needs vs Wants vs Everything Else

Dictionary.com Definition

Need
Verb: Require (something) because it is essential or very important

Want
Verb: Have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for

I started with the definitions so that it was very evident, both to you and me, that these are two very distinct words. If it wasn’t obvious enough below is a list of things that qualify for each:

Needs

Water
Food
A place to live
Air
Clothing (not an abundance)

 Wants

Puppy
Expensive Shoes
Voluptuous Hair
Designer Clothing
Latest and greatest make up
Mansion
Jet Skis

 

You see the differences right? Please tell me you do. Needs are necessities. Objects that without, your body would have a difficult time functioning, things that keep you LIVING.  Wants are the objects that without you may have a hard time looking in the mirror, or you might not feel as confident as before. These “wants” have been warped into our minds that make us feel they’re a necessity.  A seed that was planted in our heads that we need material items to prolong our happiness. That happiness cannot just develop from within you. You need to have the latest trends, the best hair products, or the coolest toys to obtain happiness.  Watch 15 minutes of  TV and you’ll see 10 minutes of advertisements telling you that the current you isn’t good enough, you need THIS SHINY NEW PRODUCT to enhance your quality of life.

 This is the part where we need to break the mold. We need dig within ourselves and find out what makes us who we are. Once this is found, we won’t want  to spend the money on all those materialistic items.  Well be satisfied knowing the traits we possess are one of a kind and there can never be another one of us.  If  we can make peace with ourselves that we are who we are and no amount of makeup, clothing, or designer products is going to change that, we’ll be headed in the right direction. I’m still searching for this. I’ve reinforced bad behavior from the very beginning. I covered up my low self-esteem and body image issues with the purchasing of clothes. These tangible items were supposed to fix years of negative thinking, what a joke. Find yourself and you will find happiness because I know for a fact it does not lie in the racks of clothes at Forever 21 or the matching pumps from Bakers. It’s found within you and I promise it’s beautiful even if you may think otherwise. Help yourself rediscover what your needs are and release the hopeless illusion of false needs. Wants exist solely to make you think you need them. They are part of a grand scheme, this image of perfection, but you will lose yourself trying reach this ideology. Become content with being YOU even if it may be viewed as imperfect.  I’m a work in progress but I hope to find the perfectly imperfect me soon, the one who knows needs are so much greater than wants.

 
 Thinking I might have had too much coffee this morning
 
D

Progress Puppy – Day 9

" My name is Sgt. Pupperstein and I'm here to kick some ass"

Instead of naming this a progress report I decided to go with progress puppy because nothing good has ever come out of anything involving the word “report”, Report Card (bad), Police Report (never good), “Please report to the manager’s office” (palms sweating). This is supposed to be a good thing and what’s better than a puppy? Well maybe a kitten but that’s a matter of opinion.  Also, apparently he’s German and very persistent. Something about nomming us to death if we don’t succeed.  So here we are 9 days into our journey and I hope you’ve made some positive changes like I have. Below I’ve listed some steps I’ve taken recently or in the past that have helped me.

  • I canceled my gym membership. My membership cost me $24.99/mo, I could’ve downgraded to the cheaper option of $12.99/mo. But, so as not to be a hypocrite, I don’t have the cash therefore I cannot afford this luxury. Plus, this is saving me $300 a year! There are plenty of workout routines that you can do from the comforts of your home so the excuse, “eh but I’m going to get fat”, isn’t a legitimate one. Don’t make me sic Sgt. Pupperstein on you.
  • I am no longer indulging in my magic morning elixir, Starbucks, sad face. This number is going to WOW you because it sure slapped me in the face. With refraining from making this tiny purchase of $2.75 a day I am saving $528 a year! That is at the cheapest cost, at my highest I was spending $5.25 for an effing cup of joe yo! We’re in debt, we can no longer or never could, afford this. So stop justifying small purchases, silly ass! That was directed more towards me than you.
  • Call your card company, say what?!  They want your debt gone as bad as you want it paid. They aren’t going to yell at you, or send the police to your house for owing a debt. Ask if they can lower your finance charge or interest rate. Interest rate is a little harder to get lowered because you’ve previously agreed to this rate. Check the fine print of your card information. Please call, it can’t hurt. But whatever you do, don’t cry because that’s embarrassing and makes it awkward for the poor fellow on the other end of the phone, not that this happened or anything, I’m just guessing it would be.
  • Car insurance, little known fact here, you can be set up on a monthly payment plan. Call up your insurer and explain that you’re having a difficult time making the onetime payment of $5,000,000 and you would like to see if  you could be set up on a monthly plan. This makes you bill much smaller and more manageable. Obviously your insurance isn’t 5 million dollars but you get the point, call!

Just by abstaining what I viewed as minor purchases I am saving $828 a year. It just blows my mind and maybe this why normal people don’t go into debt because they grasp where debt comes from.  It may not seem like the issue when you’re glancing at the monthly bill but it sure seems like a start when you factor in the yearly total. Keep on keepin’ on.

The sergeant scares me too, I’m sorry for this

D

Savings! Savings! Savings!

Now we get to the good stuff, the stuff I know absolutely nothing about! YAY! This should be great guys, have no fear captain I don’t know shit about savings is here! Please someone more educated in the department of finances help my readers. I fear my rationality of picking stocks because their names are fun to pronounce is not a good strategy. I probably should’ve paid more attention in consumer education. I will try to help you with what I do know though. First being, there is no excuse not to be saving! Right now, if you’re current employment status allows it, you need to be putting aside at least $100 for savings. I’ve known this for years, but when did I finally start, a couple of months ago. I was one of these people,  I’d budget for my savings, it would sit in my checking account, then some deceiving judgment call would trigger and I would justify spending it at the bar or on an outfit for the bar. “Oh, I’ll just put double the amount aside next month” Lies! So stop! If you’ve had problems like me actually getting the savings into the savings account then set up an AUTOMATIC WITHDRAWAL, this is the good kind so it’s allowed. 🙂 With the help of a friend I chose Discover Online Savings Account (see link below). Just make sure to always account for the money being taken out, budget around it. You received X amount of dollars on the 30th, budget yourself on there being $100 less. Overdraft fees are no fun and can quickly add up.  Another savings option and probably the most valuable least taken advantage of is the mighty 401k. If your employer offers this, CONTRIBUTE, CONTRIBUTE, CONTRIBUTE! I cannot be clearer on the subject, this is money you cannot access until you are 65, it’s what I like to call “if I can just make it to 65 I’ll be rich” savings plan. Well I won’t actually be rich but I will sure have a lot more money than if I had never contributed. So please folks please take the time to plan for the future. Believe it or not, as long as we take the steps to change, this debt will only be temporary and when you come out of this little slump you’re going to want to come out on top and I want you there too.

Savings = Happiness

D

http://www.discoverbank.com/online-savings-account.html

Snow Ruins Everything

Snow ruined game night, snow made me plow my driveway first thing this morning, snow made me think of Hawaii even more than normal. So screw you snow but on the positive side snow did let me spend the morning with my mom. Snow also let me play with my dogs in the woods, just  like when they were puppies and I was still somewhat physically fit. Now were all cold, can barely move, and showing our age but they were happy and so was I. So thank you snow even though I still hate you. Stay warm and if you’re already warm share the wealth.

Spike and Buddy

Wishing it was 85 degrees and sunny

D

Game Night!

My first free idea! This isn’t entirely my own idea but I’m staking claim to it and will be charging for any future ideas going forward. You think I’m joking? Now, where were we, GAME NIGHT! One of my dearest friends has been asking me for some time now to play Clue with her. Well she’s getting her wish and she’s going to regret because what she doesn’t know is I’m part CSI extraordinaire, part awesome. Basically, she’ll never win again. 🙂 In lieu of our costing cutting measures grab some of your friends, take over someone’s house, and break out the old school board games!

 It’s cheap, it’s fun, and you get to spend some quality time getting to know your friends even better. It might be a sign of growing older but I’m starting to prefer the quiet cozy environments over the fist pumping, Katy Perry blasting in your ears, drinks spilling all over you kind of atmosphere. Not that this wasnt  the preferred at one point in my life. If that visual didn’t persuade you enough just look at everything you’ll be gaining, bragging rights because winning is in our blood. The doctor recommended amount of sleep, since you won’t be staying up till the birds start singing, and making memories with friends that can never be replaced.  The latter being the most important because I wouldn’t trade mine for the world. A friend with great advice sent me this quote by Suze Orman, “Live below your means, but within your needs”, and I need my friends. So enjoy your games y’all and may everyone come out a champion!

Friends = Happiness

D

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