Court is in Session

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, today I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that women have it harder than men. I’m not here to complain about equals rights. I’ll leave that to someone who knows what they’re talking about. No, today I am here to discuss pain. Particularly, the age-old battle of who has it worse, men being kicked in their jewels, or women receiving their monthly friend. This argument has waged over centuries and many a war has been started, slight exaggeration, but today I will put an end to this quarrel! Below you will find researched, creditable information, provided by professionals in their relative field of expertise. Well one professional, that happens to be me, Dr. Ichards.

Now we’ve all been children and we’ve all had males as friends and we’ve all thought at one point it might be funny to see how your male friend would react if you “kicked him in the nuts”. You only make that mistake once. Nothing transforms a fun, laid back, male faster than having his pride bumped.  As females, we sympathize and are apologetic for a long time, because we’ve never experienced something that could cause that much pain. Then we hit puberty, have our first period, and from that point on our sympathy card is gone. From then on its, “Get over it, have you ever had a period?”

Pain –Males, imagine the worst charlie horse you’ve ever had. Remember that feeling, good. Now place that feeling on the inside of your body. A place where you are unable to reach, to massage, to alleviate the pain. Now on top of that, put a little devil poking that charlie horse with his trident.  Yea, that’s right, welcome to a women’s period.

Duration – Men we get it, getting your pride nudged hurts like hell. Try to picture for a second that the pain you experience for a couple of minutes, dragged out for days. Welcome to cramps.

Above are probably the only two comparisons that may be somewhat equal. Based upon my knowledge and expertise I would say that women have already won but I’ll continue.

Emotions – Ah yes, last time I checked getting booted in the gonads doesn’t send you on a roller coaster of emotions. You might be angry for a little bit but it’s nothing compared to PMS. That magical word males love to throw around at exactly the wrong time. Here’s a fun experiment males, try telling you lady friend that she’s PMSing while she’s PMSing.

"Say that to me again and see what happens."

You’re happy one minute, you’re crying the next. The next you want to punch small kittens in the face. Maybe that’s a personal thing. Either way, I don’t think the jewels being shaken causes this much madness to a persons demeanor.

Boobs – Massive, well larger than before, sore, BOOBS. So sore you contemplate removing them. This could also be a personal thing. As far as I can recall I don’t think having your prized gems smacked around makes your arms swell and hurt.  The best part is because they are ripe they become all that more appealing to males. Want another fun test males? Try to touch them when they’re in this fragile state.

"Do you have a death wish?"

Hunger – I’m quite certain the last thing males want to do after having the pearls batted around is eat. Well thanks to hormones that’s all we want to do. Not normal food or average portions either.

“I want loaves of dark chocolate.”

“Well, honey they don’t offer loaves of chocolate, I can get you a bar.”

"Find me a f*%$ing loaf of dark chocolate!"

Acne– Men go through puberty, sprout hair in weird places, and develop a deeper voice. Some, may have a brief phase of a year or 2, where their skin is trying to figure out what the hell is happening. Awesome, congratulations men. Women, nope, we get to break out like we are 15 years old again, every month. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Based on this proof, I can safely draw the conclusion that men should never complain again when the family jewels get knocked around. Also, we already knew that men were babies, so it wasn’t even a fair fight. However, CASE CLOSED!

Why this rant, because I’m suffering here, and I needed to make sure it didn’t go unnoticed. Also, it could be because I wanted to be a raging b$*@%. Either way to all my male readers, I’m sorry I had to call you out, please don’t leave. Remember this is one girls opinion, feel free to reach out to other females who might have an ounce of sympathy for you.

BOOM

Dr. Ichards

P.S. Not ALL men are babies, just a large majority are. 😉

Smelling the Roses

We’ve all heard the saying, “stop and smell the roses.” The meaning being, slow down and take the time to enjoy your surroundings. Generally this is applied to hard workers and since we’ve already established I’m not a hard worker, one might think this couldn’t apply to me. Correction, I’m a hard worker, just not THAT, hard of a worker. Make sense? Probably not, but we’re going to carrying on anyways. Seeing as I’m not an expert at working hard yet, I’m going to apply this quote to debt. Yay! If you spend your life living pay check to pay check, stressing about your bills, worrying about money, you’re going to miss life. Unfortunately, what I’m about to say is going to make me a hypocrite, but I need to say it.

Next time you find yourself about to use your credit card or buy something you cannot afford, STOP, and SMELL THE ROSES. In this instance it’s not about embracing the life around you but more so directed to what you are about to do. Really concentrate and take a moment to reflect on your actions. How is this going to affect your debt? How is this going to make you feel? Is this a necessity? Will this fix any of your current problems? How is this going to help you in the long run? If even one of your answers is no or has a negative response you should NOT being make that purchase. You do yourself no favors by lying or trying to justify the purchase either.

After you’ve walked away, try to focus on the positives. How much closer are you to paying off your debt now? How much more can apply to the bottom line? How are you feeling? I admit the feeling part is difficult, because when you’ve already tricked yourself into thinking you needed that particular item, walking away can be hard, but you’re a stronger person for doing so.

As a reward to ourselves for taking a step towards changing our lives were going to start a savings-on-a-whim box. All you need is some type of box, or even piggy bank, just make sure it something that you can glue, staple, tape, or weld shut. You can have zero access to the contents inside. Also, make sure it’s not clear.  When you arrive back home, put five or ten percent of what you were just about to spend in your savings-on-a-whim box.  It might sound silly, but seriously do this, money adds up over time. Especially when left untouched.  For anyone who is thinking, “Well, if I didn’t have the money to buy what I wanted, why would I have the money to put in a stupid box?” Here are some fast figures for you, 5% of $20 is a $1, and 10% of $50 is $5. You can see what I mean.  These figures aren’t going to cause you to go into further debt, but they will be a nice treat  for you when you get to open your box. Want to know when you get to open your box? Never! Just kidding, when you’re debt free! As long as you are dedicated and don’t cheat yourself you should have a pretty penny waiting for you at the finish line and all because you stopped to smell the roses.

Beautiful roses supplied by the BF ❤

 

One day at a time

D

Because I’m a Follower

I have enough pride to admit I’m a follower. Somewhere deep inside me, I probably posses a minuscule amount of leadership qualities, but for the most part, I just run with the herd. I’ve been reading more debt blogs and found another trending feature, goal setting. Blonde on a Budget is one of my new favorite blogs to follow. I know I briefly stated  before that goals are important, blah, blah, but they really are.  My original message was brilliant and much more important then I may have just lead you to believe. Trust me, I’m like yoda, but freckled.

As a good follower, I will do as I’ve been taught to do, follow. Obviously I have goals. I want to get out of debt, I want to live in Hawaii, I want to marry George Clooney, but apparently it’s good for the heart and soul to set smaller, more obtainable goals. We will call these instant gratification goals, clever eh? Seeing as it is still pretty early in the month, I figure why not give this a try, the chart thing worked out great.  I will be setting monthly goals rather than weekly. I know me best, and seeing as I’m an expert at procrastination, I know I’d just be setting myself up for failure if I did weekly goals.

MY APRIL GOALS

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours 😉

Lose 10 lbs – Say what? As I said HERE, I believe, as women, were genetically altered to dislike our bodies no matter what kind of shape we’re in.  I will be trying out for a sporting event later this month. I’m hoping with the help of my physical trainer, enter the boyfriend, that we’ll be able to shed these last pesky pounds.

Finish A Clash of Kings – This is the second novel to the A Song of Ice and Fire series or season 2 of Game of Thrones being shown on HBO now.

Get a Second Job – Ugh, just typing that makes me feel like giving up. I need more money, hey don’t we all sister, but I really need more money. If I’m going to reach my goal by January I somehow need to pull in additional $890 a month.  I’m limited in time but plentiful in excuses. I’ve served in the past and I hate people. I’m just kidding, I love you all, I just hate serving you. 🙂 I’ll figure something out. It’s funny how rarely you see ninja assassin on Craig’s List, now THAT I could do.

Create a Squirrel Stash –  I want to start squirreling away money here and there. Why, you might say? You might not have said that at all, but I’ll tell you why anyways. My family will be going on vacation next February. My parents are starting to view us children, my brother and I, as semi, not even close to being, grown adults. With this new revelation, theyre are asking us to pay for ourselves. Horse doodoo right?! Let’s start an uprising for this injustice! Small joke, I’ve been privileged to have my parents take me on plenty of all-inclusive vacations. Spoiled is the word that comes to mind. By asking us to pay, it’s the least we can do, as miniature adults, to help ease to burden of the bill. Well, my brother is sitting pretty, but I on the other hand, in my current state, cannot afford to go. ::blink, blink:: WWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. I’m hoping by squirreling away money, I might be able to afford the first leg of the trip, and find my way to the cargo hold for the second. The plan is ingenious.

I think that those should be enough for one month. I’ll be proud of myself if I complete one of them. Anyone out there betting, put it on finishing the book, and you didn’t hear it from me. Make sure when you set your goals, you make them realistic and achievable. It will give you a sense of satisfaction that you may be lacking when your debt isnt plummeting to zero as fast as you expected.

In other news, overnight, I gained my 40^th follower. YAY! Don’t forget sharing is caring. If you love poor grammar, and lame excuses, spread the love and joy of reading about my life in shambles.

Happy Humpday

D

Progress Puppy – Day 77

"Sup Bitches!"

The sergeant was nice enough to spare a couple of minutes of his time to help update you on the status of my progress. I guess the easiest place to start would be my charts. Dunt-Dunna-Na, that was supposed to be the sound trumpets make, fail.

                         

As you can see, I am slowly making progress, getting my tax return REALLY helped. I paid off two of my cards. I know I said 3 before, and it was 3, until I charged some things to that card. -_- I’ll probably get yelled at but here is my poor excuse. This is a little tiny card credit, I mean its normal size, but the credit limit is only $400. I opened this card to stop me from spending on my other cards, which has worked. Look at the trend for my American Express and Capital cards. I pay off this card almost every month.  I DO NOT recommend this because it’s not a solution. It will, and is slowing my progress down, but there are times when I really need money. I use this card for necessities, groceries being the main point. Like I mentioned before I started a vegan diet and that shit is expensive! I probably should give it up but it makes me happy. I love the way it makes me feel and I am loving the results. Poohy on me, but it’s my reasoning.

I was not completely sold on the idea of charts but now that I’ve created them I see how beneficial they really are. If you’re interested in using my template, click this link > Debt Template. Also you can find some other budget excels HERE. I highly recommend them. Number one rule, be honest with yourself. You do yourself no favors by hiding purchases here and there. Numbers can’t lie unless you’re lying to begin with. You can’t start to make progress until you accept your situation and understand you need to make some changes. If you need help getting started please look at some of my first posts where I outlined the basics for getting out of debt.

I hope for those of you in similar situations, who have been following from the beginning, that you are beginning to see some progress as well. If anyone ever has any questions, or want to know more information, or you just feel like sharing your story, please don’t hesitate to contact me. My email address is SunnyD10121@gmail.com. I will help to the best of my ability and remember no one judges you here. 🙂

Happy Muesday Everyone

I have Friday off, so its already like Tuesday for me.

D

It’s Friday?

I seriously lost track of time this week. I guess that’s what happens when your work week starts on a Wednesday. I mean I’m not mad about it, I’m just a little caught off guard. Normally I’m all revved up on “its Friday” juice and able to fire off a post no problem. I’m staring at my fingers on the keyboard waiting for them to work their magic and yea, nothing is happening. Sip my tea, still nothing. Okay brain it looks like it’s just you and well, you. This isn’t going to be pretty.

Yesterday, I FINALLY received my tax return. ::happy dance:: I paid off 3 of my credit cards, you read that right, T-H-R-E-E. I guess I actually am making progress. The thing about debt recovery is its slow-moving. Unlike debt building, that can be done in a matter of hours. It’s easy to be discouraged and want to go back to your old ways but don’t. I’ll tell you what has seriously helped me more than I thought it would, my charts. When you see the progress, or the regression, it keeps you motivated. Sad to say, one of my card totals has gone up since I last posted due to interest rates and protector fees. The f#*$ is a protector fee?!  HOLY SHIT BALLS Y’ALL!! Sorry for the caps but I mean you would not believe what just happened.

Okay, so after I typed the words “The f#*$ is a protector fee?! “, I actually googled what the shit this thing is. Here’s my mentality, “I’ve had this account protector fee for as long as I can remember, and thought it was because I was in debt, so I never questioned it.”  Yea, no, after googling, this is an optional program! So I call….

Me(all like wtf): I don’t remember enrolling in this shit.

Nice Lady: Well, unfortunately, I show when you signed up for the card in 2007 you also were enrolled in this program.

Me(still all like wtf): Awesome but ummm all that money I paid you f#^$s I will be getting back, right?

Nice Lady: No, I’m sorry to say but I can only reimburse you for the previous 3 months.

Me(-_-): Yea but I’ve been paying for this for 5 years now. I called to get my interest rate lowered about 7 months ago and the guy never mentioned that this program was optional.

Nice Lady: Oh, well that sucks.

Me: Tell me about it! So now what?

Nice Lady:  Well like I said, we don’t care that you’ve paid us all this money and never used this program. We took advantage of a youth who didn’t know what she was signing up for and won, but in return, we will give back $255 and cancel the ongoing enrollment.

Me: Well that’s great! Seriously, thank you so much. I’m so excited about being robbed blindly. Have a nice weekend.

Nice Lady: Oh you too and anytime you want your money to go to waste give us a call back.

Okay so maybe the phone call didn’t happen exactly like that. The woman was extremely nice and I’m never rude or swear to anyone on the phone. I worked in a debt collection center and it changed my whole outlook on how to speak to a customer service rep.

So, I was excited about receiving some money back but then I did the dumb thing. I calculated just exactly how much money I had actually given to this “program”.  Anyone good at math?  $85/mo x 60/mo =????.  Five f#@*ing thousand dollars!!! I’m in complete awe. I feel so foolish, naive once again and used. Please PLEASE please check to see if you have this program on your credit card. I completely understand the idea behind it and it’s probably saved a lot of people from debt collection but I mean……. Just check your card.

Woah, I just got all revved up on “Ive been being robbed for 5 years” juice

D

Budgeting

That word ^, is basically spanish to me. I’ve never been nor am I currently good at budgeting.  Budgeting and I do not go together. Honestly, it makes my head hurt. I’ve been finding all these great debt blogs and I feel like I’m the odd woman out. They’ve got fancy words, proper English, a million different budget templates, and all I’ve got are some funny jokes. If you even count them as funny. How am I supposed to budget for that one time I get an impulse to buy a pizza? What’s that you’re saying? Oh, you don’t budget for it because you shouldn’t be buying it, because you’re in debt. Ahhh, very wise you are, imaginary talking Yoda voice.  I look at these budget sheets and I’m just floored. One, it makes my debt look just ri-damn-diculous because I honestly have no excuse for getting into debt. I have no mortgage.  I have no fixed expenses outside of my car payment, insurance, and cell phone.  Which is nothing compared to having cable, electricity, children, and everything else real life demands. I’m really beginning to think when I decide to grow up I’m going to be screwed. Secondly, I really have no idea where to even begin with budgeting. I live pay check to pay check. I get paid and the money is gone. I set a new record for all you participating in the fund draining olympics. 5 minutes, beat that!

There are all these pretty excels that are trying their hardest to makes this easy for me but I just don’t get it.  For you people though, I’m willing to try because what kind of example would I be setting. After completing my skewed budget, I can already tell you this budgeting thing is going to suck. Very mature of me, I know. Just another avenue to make sure I keep myself truthful to the task at hand, NUMBERS DON’T LIE! Well, unless you put in the wrong number to begin with. This will be my test month, I will keep track of everything I spend, categorize it and try to make some sense of the numbers. Wish me luck, because I’m sure as hell going to need it. Got any budgeting strategies of your own, I’m all ears.

If you are interested in starting your own and understand how it works please check THIS fun one out or try THIS page for a multitude of budget excel sheets.

Happy Budgeting Y’all

D

Winners and Losers

Three of the easiest words to utter have to be “I give up”, just think about it. How often have you thought it to yourself or spoken it out loud, in a joking or non-joking manner? Giving up is essentially quitting and quitting is essentially losing. There are more losers in this life than winners, this we know. NFL Football, 32 teams, 1 ultimate winner.  Miss America, 52 contestants, 1 Miss America. American Idol, 100,000 hopefuls, 1 American Idol. You see where I’m going with this. Those are 3 examples on an extreme scale, but think about, what if every person who didn’t come in first gave up? There would only be one of everything. Everyone would be so defeated from not winning the first time that there would never be another competition. Good thing for us, that’s not what most of us are made of. It’s hard but it takes real character to build you back up and get back in the game. It takes determination and dedication to know you are worth something more than runner-up. It takes knowing you are special to keep fighting. The next time you find yourself thinking about giving up remember this life was not created to be simple or easy. If it was, we’d have a lot more winners and then winning wouldn’t be so special. See because every winner has been a loser at some point. They knew what it felt like to not come in first but the difference is they kept fighting. Reach for something and don’t stop until yours because when life pushes you, you’ve got to be able to push back.

 

Im not giving up

D

Those Teeny Tiny Steps

Back to the task at hand! Previously I made reference to some in between teeny tiny steps that are involved when trying to get out of debt. Below you will find some obvious and some not so obvious steps you could take to help ensure you’re always making progress.

• Pay Cash – If not for everything, most things. This is something I’ve heard over and over again growing up and it never dawned on me until now sadly. Once the cash is gone, the spending is done.
• Set Goals or a Goal – This is probably the most important because this will be your motivation. When all seems hopeless you need just to remind yourself of the goal you’ve set on the horizon. Whether they be small monthly goals, or big year-long goals, just make them.
• Get Rid of Temptation – You know those robo emails we all get from any company you’ve ever given your email address to? The ones trying to seduce you into shopping online or going into their store for their one of kind sale? Yea, well take the time to unsubscribe from them. This will help eliminate that temptation of “Oh, I’m just looking”. $75 later, it turns out it wasn’t just a look.  I don’t care how great the sale is, the only real deal is not spending the money to begin with.
• Credit Cards – Since we’ve already given them up, we no longer have the capability to spend.  Now, we have to get the balance to zero. Pay off the smaller amounts first. DO NOT neglect your payments on other cards to get the smaller amounts paid off faster. Once you get the lower balances out of the way, you then can use that money to contribute more towards the big boys.
• No Excuses – Stop indulging in just about everything. Your, “Its Friday I can treat myself to lunch”, or dinners, or whatever, cannot be your rationalization anymore. This may work for people not in debt but for someone who lives pay check to check ::cough, cough, myself::  this isn’t going to help the situation.
• Monopoly Money – We are no longer playing with fake money. This is real life and we have to get real about it or were going to end up with the dreaded “do not pass go, do not collect $200” card. Get serious and stop pretending you are going to land on the community chest and receive savior. The only savior here is you.

Im rich bitch! Not really, unless you have Boardwalk and Park Place.

I hope everyone is gettin’ their leap on!

D

When You Wish Upon A Star

Objective, aim, ambition, purpose, target, aspiration, all these words can be used to describe one word, goal. If you’re still not convinced you have a problem or that you’re debt isn’t that serious by now then you’re a lost cause. No, not really, but you do need a reality check.  You have to want something greater from life than just what is presented in front of you.  For those of you who don’t know me personally, I love Hawaii, particularly Maui. I’ve been privileged enough to have traveled there several times and it holds a piece of my heart. This is the only place I’ve been to though, outside of the standard American family vacations, Disneyland, Wisconsin Dells, Washington DC, etc.  So who’s to say I may not love somewhere else? I am a HUGE believer in trying everything once. After that you’re considered an expert in my book and can officially state you hate it but until then you have no just reasoning to say you dislike anything. Just my philosophy, ya don’t have to agree.  So here I am filing up the WWW with my nonsense, gibberish, and ramblings. Hoping, wishing, this will all amount to something because my dream, my goal is to explore the world. I want to know I have tried everything before I settle into “forever”. This isn’t for everyone, I understand that. No two people are alike but we are alike in that we all have something that drives us. Find that calling, and remember there’s something much greater than having the latest trends or coolest gadgets. Think of something you’ve always wanted to do but never could imagine doing and reach for it. This is the one chance at life we got why not make it great?

"I'll bet a lot of you folks don't believe that, about a wish comin' true, do ya? Well, I didn't, either. Of course, I'm just a cricket singing my way from hearth to hearth, but let me tell you what made me change my mind."

Next stop Africa

D

P.S. Do not take this as me telling you to get all crazy planning trips you can’t afford and going all willy-nilly tapping into your savings. This is me telling you to stop spending so you can plan for something more than the tragedy of being seen in the same outfit twice.

Reflection

A large part of this process I’m finding is reflection. I get the opportunity to look back on years of spending flippantly. Years I wouldn’t trade for the world because they are some of the best memories I have to date but I get to reflect on how childish I was. I never imagined myself growing up. I always figured I was going to have this mentality of the only thing of importance is the here and now. Which I still do believe in, but I’m beginning to understand that you can’t let the “here and nows” affect the future. I’m in a stalemate, I want to start my life but I can’t because I was so naive. Naive into thinking my actions then wouldn’t affect my life now. Naive because I always saw myself as being in control, I’d be able to pay my bills off when I wanted to.  If I could go back to the me then Id slap some sense into me. Now don’t look at this as regret because I live my life with no regrets. Well there are a few but that’s life. Every mistake is an opportunity learned. Every “I wish I hadn’t done that” moment has made us who we are today. So no, I don’t regret my past, but I do wish I wouldn’t have been so stubborn. I wish the old me wasn’t so selfish that for a moment I would’ve thought about what the future me would have liked. Try to use this mind-set the next time you want to make a purchase, or go on a trip you can’t afford. What is the future you going to want? I can tell you for damn sure I’d  much rather have a place of my own now than my cute matching outfits then.

Yes, I am feeling better 🙂

D