Reality Check

I had a completely different agenda for today’s post but then this happened, click here. This is a very real description of one woman’s personal experience with discovering a little something abnormal. I could copy, word for word, her recount because its beautifully written and describes, almost to a t, my own experience, but that is called plagiarism. So I will tell you my own experience.

I’ll start with the good news , my “lump” has been diagnosed as benign, but that’s the end of the story. Now, I’ll start at the beginning.

In October, just before my 25^th birthday, I was feeling my lady bits because they were damn sore when I noticed something different. I told my boyfriend first, looking more for a confirmation of “Oh yea, I feel that all the time, it’s been there” vs. it being something that just developed. I didn’t receive the response I wanted. I told my mom a couple of days later when it hadn’t “disappeared”, as I had wished. I approached the subject very nonchalantly, “Yo ma, I was feeling my boobs the other day and I noticed this, what do you think it is?” She, being a mother, naturally was concerned. I, on the other hand, choose to ignore it. Out of sight, out of mind. Thank goodness for a mother’s persistence because she would not let the damn subject go.

“Have a made a doctor’s appointment yet?”

I made up every excuse under the sun.

“No, I’ll do it when we get back from the cruise.”

“No, I don’t have the money for the doctor’s bill.”

“No, it’s nothing, now will you stop asking.”

The answer was always no. I can say now, it was because I was scared. My boyfriend finally started on the pestering train, so I finally made the appointment, 3 months after my first detection.

I approached my doctor the same way as I approached my mom. I went in for a routine check-up, making sure this well oiled machine was still functioning normally when I pounced.

“Yea doc, I was feeling around the old dirty pillows and I noticed this.”

Well, the initial result was she ended up finding 3 more “abnormalities.” Awesome. I was then explained that I would need to go for an ultrasound because young women’s breasts are denser and harder to read through a normal mammogram.  That’s when worst case scenario Diane began doing what she does so well. I cried, I got mad, I become nostalgic, and I was a mess. How could I have been so stupid and childish to have waited this long? Maybe, if I had gone sooner she wouldn’t have found so much cancer, because at this point I had convinced myself it was cancer.

Ultrasound day approached, I brought mommy for moral support. I’ve read a few authors who sometimes describe a situation as having the air being sucked out of the room, well let me tell you, I now know what that feeling is. The tech squirted gel on my lady part, began looking, and said, “let me go get the radiologist.” All I can remember thinking is “Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry”,which is really hard for me. She came back with the radiologist and began speaking jibberish, or what sounded like it.

“Yea, good, okay add some color. Rotate dizzledattle. Yea that’s good. Okay now ziggle zaggle hindersation to minderstation. Great.”

I would not be exaggerating if I said I stopped breathing the entire time. I turned to the tech after the exam and said “I read on the web”, which I’m sure they looove to hear, “that I could ask for a preliminary report.” She acknowledged this and asked the radiologist to provide me one. I walked back out to the waiting room of doom, told my mommy everything and waited. Then the magically piece of paper that would change my life, one way or the other, was provided.

‘No significant findings discovered.’

I still didn’t believe what I was reading because I’m a pessimist. I received my official diagnoses in the mail a couple of weeks later. The word that every woman wishes to see was printed so clear that even my pessimistic mind could comprehend, benign.

I chose to share this storybecause, just like the other blogger writes, it is so important to take care of ourselves. Please check yourselves and if you notice something, don’t write it off as a fluke, or something that it’s not serious. There is no excuse when it comes to your health, take the steps to make sure you are well. This was the story of a childish girl who was fortunate. I was sparred, which is a blessing. As the other blogger wrote so perfectly, do as I say, not as I do.

Cheers to boobs

D

PS:  I mean no offense to anyone who has this disease or knows someone who has this disease. Humor is my escapism. Please know I completely hold you and others in the highest regard. For every woman out there fighting this battle, you have unbelievable strength, and courage. May we one day soon live in a world without this devastating disease.