Progress Puppy – Day 213

::shakes head::

WOW! So, I completely skipped the month of July, which is probably for the best. Progress puppy means progress was supposed to be had eh? It’s not awful. I’ve made progress, just not as much as I’d hoped for.  Small excuses lead to big excuses and before you know it I’m back at the start. One thing I have noticed is there is a direct correlation between blogging and my attitude towards my debt. I think I kind of lost sight of the big picture. Well, not the whole picture, but my focus seems to have gone astray when it comes to discipline. So, I’m going to try my darnedest to get back to blogging regularly in hopes that it will help me get my butt back on track. Here are the magnificent numbers.

We must go down further men!

Disappointment in an array of colors….

Has anyone else picked up on the trend here? Pay,spend,pay,spend, pay, spend. Ugh. I’ve come up with a new strategy that I’m hoping will help to eliminate this tendency. If the rest of August goes like I originally planned, it should be a great step towards paying off another card, but only time will tell.  On a more positive note tomorrows Friday. TGIMFF!

Debt you win this round

D

And Now Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

Hey you guys!!!

 

HHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I remember you guys!!  Kitten kisses for all!! Sooooooo obviously I took a little unannounced vacation from the blogging world…. my bad.  Between school, and work, and procrastination, I was having some stress issues. That was the climax of this story. Now we’re at the resolution.  I’m coming up on the last week on school and I’ve finally had time to breathe.  SO SO SO SO much has happened. Well, I don’t know about all that much, but it sure as f#($ feels like it was a lot. For starters, I still procrastinate the shit out of everything. One would assume you would learn after the first time but this is me were talking about.  Old habits die-hard. My debt….yea, about that. Its, um, still there. Hasn’t gotten worse but definitely has not gotten better. 0_o  This paycheck is the return of lean, mean, stricter Diane, jumping back up on this horse.  I’m being very vague with everything here because if I spill my guts now, I won’t have anything to talk about for the next 3 weeks.  Plus, for those of you who don’t stalk me on Facebook, like my real Facebook, not this site’s Facebook,  I have some BIG EFFING NEWS!! Like Earth’s rotation stopping kind of news. At least in my own world. :0) No I am not pregnant….. or engaged…. nor did I win the lotto. Stay tuned. Sweet D has missed all you silly asses!

 

No need for a standing ovation you guys

D

Lets NOT do THAT again

Now that I’ve had some sleep and no longer have the idea of setting all of AT&T on fire in my brain, I feel like I could maybe write a post. I may have unintentionally drugged myself with a lot of caffeine Monday night. I literally did not sleep a wink. Not even 5 minutes. It left me in some kind of glassy eyed dream like state, which was quite the experience. I know how the cool kids must feel.  Yesterday I had started to write and about 2 minutes in I was like I don’t even know what planet I’m on right now there is no way I can do this. Plus it was pure gibberish even more than normal.

Any way, last paycheck I got REALLY aggressive with one of my payments, like a little way too aggressive. I’m so broke it’s not even funny. I’ve been borrowing money like a mad woman. I’ve been counting down the hours until I get paid since last week. It was 2 days, 52 hours, and 3134 minutes when I wrote this post. However, it is all going to be worth it beeeeccccaauuussseee, pause for dramatic effect, I’ll be paying off another credit card on Friday! 🙂 Toodaloo Mother F#*%er! I’m so excited. It feels so good to see my somewhat skewed discipline working, when I want it too.  This will relatively be $300 a month, give or take, that I get to apply to the next card I’m going to tackle. Bring it on Capital One! The anticipated pay off date for this card, if I never spent another dime, is September. Holy. Shit. It’s really hard to believe that this could actually become a reality. That I might actually get out of debt. It’s been a way of life for me for so long. It’s hard to imagine life without minimum payments. I still have a L  O  N  G way to go but I can see that it is possible.

One small step for Diane, one giant leap for Diane’s Debt.

Because who isn’t smiling on the moon?

D

Beating a Dead Horse

It’s really unfortunate that I have multiply personalities because they do not make decision-making very easy. A little over two months ago I wrote this. I have now found my way back to this predicament. I was looking through pictures and my heart cried a little. I decided then I wasn’t going to deprive myself of the one, crazy ridiculously expensive, thing I love so much. I have one life to live and I want to make sure I can say I did it, for the most part, without regret. Then I get to the checkout screen for the ticket and all the little minions that were telling me this was a good idea scatter. I’m left with the lone guy in the back corner saying I don’t think this is a good idea. WTF minions! I thought we were in this together! Ugh! Now I’m left in the backyard chasing my own tail round and round and round. Each time I think I’ve reached a decision my brain pulls me in the other direction. I told the bf I think I’m having such a difficult time with this because I seriously know what I should do but I don’t want to accept it. I did a list of pros and cons. That didn’t help because over the years I’ve grown and perfected the technique of justifying. I can justify anything. I sit here and look at my list and can justify each pro to each con and vice versa. It’s madness. I’m going to list all my reasons for going and for not going. PLEASE feel free to shed some sane light on my situation because right now insanity is taking over.

GOING (YAY)

Reason#1 – I am paying for it in cash! This will not hinder my debt nor with it affect the amount I’m paying towards my debt. This is money I have tucked away for a rainy day or if I need to flee the country very fast.

Reason #2 – I’m getting to the age where life is changing, aka growing up. I’m going to have more responsibilities and obligations so I don’t know when or if I would be able to go again. Timing is everything. I could very well be able to go the year after that, I just don’t know, and that’s the scary thing. What if something happens and I can’t. Then I will have missed my opportunity and I will wither away and die. Most likely not but I will have the “if only” factor.

Reason #3 – This is far enough in advance where I could save enough to be able to pay for the whole trip credit free, except when I buy my oceanfront bungalow. Kidding, kind of.

NOT GOING (BOO)

Reason #1 – I would be using all 10 days of my allotted vacation time for 2013. We ALL know how I am with my days. Not.a.good.thing

Reason #2 – I’m in debt. I would probably, and by probably I mean most likely, need to buy “things” because I have an illness. I’m not even going to kind of pretend I wouldn’t because I know me and you know me and it will happen.

Reason #3 – I’m in debt. If I am so willing to tap into my savings to buy this ticket then why wouldn’t I take that money and apply it towards my debt. Rhetorical question, I know why, because that’s not fun! This is the only piece of value I have to my name that is actually MY MONEY. Not credit, or a loan, its actual moo-la.

Now I’m sick of listing reasons and I’m discouraged. I’m huffing and puffing and don’t know what to do. These are the moments in life where I ask myself why couldn’t just be a billionaire.

 

May the force be with you

D

Happy Birthday!

Its my blogs 100^th birthday.

 Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear I’m Pretty Even if You’ve Already Seen Me in this Outfit

Happy birthday to yyooouu!

Presents for everyone! Not really, I can’t afford that shit but today does mark my 100th post to this bad boy.  Check me out! There are lots of exciting things happening for me too. I went through my 800 excel sheets and recalculated my “light at the end of the tunnel”, aka, my projected date to get out of debt and drum roll please, its April 2013! AFKDHaioyvhzjckvhdauewir. That’s my excitement expressed through the keyboard. Of course that’s if I never spend another dime. Which if I’m being realistic is probably more like May but either way it’s in 2013 which is a helluva lot better than originally planned, 2230. I’ve also snagged a couple more followers. Welcome, welcome! I don’t know if you’re real or computers but either way were glad to see you. I’ve got a bunch more news, I think. I can’t remember, that whole retention span of fish thing again. Ill keep you posted as I remember.

I’ll see you all Sunday, not hung-over, much, hopefully, -_-

D

Goals are for Moles

“My goal is to be able to see one day”

I realized this morning that in my blinding rage yesterday I forgot to inform y’all of my June goals. Anger is a dangerous, dangerous thing.  You’ll be happy to hear there were only a few more victims after my morning massacre.

I, for one, cannot believe it’s already June.  We are six months into 2012 already, craziness.

June Goals

$1500 – Is there an echo in here? I’m going to attempt this one again. Especially since I now have a second yob there is no excuse not to meet this goal.

Cleanliness is Healthiness – My life is clutter. My room constantly looks like a tornado has hit and my car has enough trash to fill a land fill, not exaggerating.  My goal this month will be to clean and maintain my car and room. I can already hear my mom chuckling.

Edumacation – Holy shit guys! I go back to school this month! I really cannot believe it but I’m still excited, so I’ll take that as a good sign. In the past I’ve always kind of negotiated, um, every aspect of school.   SCHOOL IS NOT UP FOR NEGOTIATIONS!  This goal will take more than one month but I have to start right if I want it to end right. My goal is to get A’s. Yikes

New Picture – I have a frame on my desk that has a picture of the boy and me with a happy holidays frame.  -_- Needless to say, it’s time for a new picture.

And you thought I was kidding when I said I was going to rig this month. 😉 Normally I would be wishing you a good weekend but I’ll be here tomorrow. So come on by and check me out!

Does it not feel like Friday to anyone else?

D

Progress Puppy – Day 136

“I will cut a bitch!”

Sorry I’ve been MIA. If you hadn’t noticed, then its fine, I haven’t been MIA. I just haven’t been as bloggly active as I like to be. I was too busy maxing out my cards, borrowing money from people, and doing everything in my power to get me back to square one. Come June 1^st though, that’s all going to change! It’s time to play START BACK OVER! ::insert The Price is Right music:: You hear that self, I’m starting over! No more f@#%ing around. I feel like I’m having déjà vu. Been here before, said that before, time to get serious, again. When I look at my charts  and see I started with such great momentum, it’s a little discouraging. All you can do is get back on the horse that threw you.  For those of you who’ve never been on a horse, this is a figurative analogy, because there’s a fat f#%&ing chance I’d be getting back on a horse that threw me.

Despite my attempts, you can not write cursive using line charts.

Is this real life?

 

Since our spirits are already so high why not discuss May’s goals. This month I went 1 for 4. I’m going to go ahead and declare May a victory. Although, if this were any kind of class, that’s a 25%, which is absolutely failing.  Hey but it beats April’s goose egg. Tomorrow I will have June’s goals for y’all.  I’m going to rig it so I get at least a 50% because that’s passing in my book. I have teachers who would argue otherwise but they can bite me.

Chipper as always

D

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Sorry today’s post is a little behind schedule, I was busy trying to figure out where the hell I went wrong in the past 30 days or so. With the aid of my budget sheets, I can figure out quite precisely where I decided getting out of debt didn’t matter anymore. I’m pretty much back to square one, if not worse.  Awesome!  It’s astounding how thick-skulled I am sometimes. It’s like I’m trying to create the image of a heart rate with my graphs.  If this were a normal day I would be highly disappointed in myself and begin to feel borderline depressed, but today isn’t normal. You’re going to have to keep reading to get to the good because this was the ugly.

This is what my chart is beginning to look like. For a heart this is good, for my debt, not so much.

On to the bad, I can already say with confidence that I will not be completing one of my goals this month. I will be taking off Friday. Boooo. Yea, I know, get over it. It’s going to beautiful and I want a long weekend. Judge me if you like, but I figure it’s a pretty good trade-off, because below you find that I not only completed one of my goals, but I knocked it out of the damn park. I bet the suspense is killing you. I can feel it through my screen.

So remember when I gave some helpful pointers on how to have a successful interview? Eeehhh? Remember?? If you scroll down, its right there for ya, named Interview 101. Read that first. Well wouldn’t ya know we can now add crying to the list of successful tips! I GOT THE DAMN JOB! I received the call yesterday and was offered the position. I exclaimed, “Oh how great!” and she replied “Good! We think so too!” So clearly they loved me, hot mess and all. I am beyond excited. It’s not a position to write home about, but it’s going to be another pay check, and more importantly, it’s not a serving position! Thank you to everyone who believed in me and told me crying wasn’t that big of deal while thinking, “Wow, who does that?” You guys are my angels and the keys to my sanity in a total insane world!

Couldn’t have done it without you Britney!

Winning!

D

May Day

Yes, I’m fully aware that it’s still April, but I thought I would get a jump-start on May’s goals. Given how last month went, I’m going to need all the time I can get. I went 0 for 4 last month, which is just stellar. I’m hoping to at least go 1 for 4 this month. Freeze frame air kick! If you don’t watch New Girl you won’t get that joke.  Any who, onto the goals.

$1500 – That’s the amount I would like to pay towards my debt, or be less in debt.  I’m sure there’s a better way I could’ve structured that sentence, but it’s Monday and honey badger doesn’t give a shit. I was very busy last week, not doing my job, so I was able to create a projected debt repayment plan. Let’s just say, if I never spent another dime, I will still be in debt by next February. -_- Kind of depressing, but I’ve got to keep my head on straight.

Yob, Yob, Yob – I need to get my ass out there and find me a second yob, y’all! There’s really no excuse. I want to apply for 2 jobs a week. I should really be applying to more but I’m aiming low, so when I say I applied for 3, I can really WOW you guys.  I also really need the additional income.

Work – I’m notorious for a lot of things at work, like I’m forgetful, usually hung over on Mondays, and I take off random days.  I’m sure, by now, most of you are wondering how the hell I still have a job. Don’t worry, I wonder too. Well, my May goal will be to not take off any days this month.  For most, this isn’t difficult, but for me, it’s only May and I’ve used just over half of my days. Fail.

Drink, Drank, Drunk – When I embarked on my vegan adventure, I also gave up drinking. Recently this has fallen to the wayside, but I would like to pick it back up. I also believe this will help with the above said goal. These tend to go hand in hand for me. I have two girlfriends birthday’s this month. I may try to act like an adult, but given how it went last time, I may just order water.

 

There you have it, my goals in all of their glory. Here’s to hoping I can complete at least one of them. I really want to put forth a much greater effort than I did last month because that was just pathetic.

Setting goals for yourself? What will your May goals be?

 

Not Hungover on a Monday

D

Progress Puppy- Day 102

"I leave her for a couple of weeks and this is what happens. Dogshit!"

The wounds been opened, so rather than make you all wait till Monday to see the damage, I’ll give it to now. Plus, I hate Mondays already, and I don’t think adding depressing posts to the mix will help our relationship. This was an awful, awful, month.  April sucked if I can be so blunt. It just downright sucked.  Well April didn’t suck, I sucked. -_-.  April was decent. Weather could’ve been a little nicer in my opinion.

April has shown me that a single person has the power to build and destroy their future.  Fate sometimes plays a role, but for the most part April has shown me you are in charge. No one else spent my money for me. No one else controlled what I purchased or didn’t. I did. I am, completely, 100% at fault for this progress puppy being so bad.

April has also showed me I shouldn’t set goals for myself.  If anyone had their money on me not completing any of my goals then you’re the big winner!  If you have absolutely no idea what I’m referring to, you can see my dead goals here.  And that children, is why following isn’t always for the best. I followed and fell flat on my face. Maybe next month I should set more reasonable goals, like get out of bed in the morning. I feel like I could handle that one. 😉

Well here are the scary charts that reflect just how awful I’ve been. Thank goodness for car payments because I’m pretty sure it would’ve been a flat line without.

Avert your eyes

It's all fun and games until someone spends outside their means

April showers bring May…. Diane not spending any money. It has a nice ring to it.

D